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Internal Disasterpiece by ~darkvenom:icondarkvenom:



The cerebral bear trap snares my soul with alligator jaws,
Venomous visciousness, knaws with knarled and knotted teeth.
Masochistic, hedonistic, give me the chance I'll strike you down where you stand.

Unknown pain and unspeakable torture swept towards the light of hope.
Vertebrae rattles like a quiver of arrows from between elongated eagles talons,
"Listen to me oh unmerciful sin, leave me be, I care not so dont bother me!"

Cheated from death by a drop of life, the artificial blood from an icy stone.
Thrown into reality with a bone jarring trip into a concrete wall,
My bones would jarr, if they had not already turned to dust and filled my lungs.

The sadistic aftertaste of a humourless god, wears heavy on my tongue like a leather paste.
"Go on, cauterize, eviscerate... strip, skin and decapitate!"
I'll endure your torture, swap my defiance for but a glimpse of her splendor...

A promise crumbles like a decrepit tombstone, to shatter metacarpels into toothpicks
My heart dares not flinch, already embedded in my muscles like the splinters of a crystal whisper
My own foul disease runs deep through these veins, only cancer can cure this plague.

The lack of apparent care in my voice evident through the rasped exhales
The marrow staining my tongue with hurting glances to somewhere else
A sour tone all that escapes from the cavernous internal disasterpiece...

...of a soul that has forgotten hope.
©2007-2008 ~darkvenom
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Submitted: April 8, 2007
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Comments: 11
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Author's Comments

A piece I rewrote after finding it on my desktop still.

Devious Comments

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~copiousblood:iconcopiousblood: Apr 8, 2007, 11:47:25 PM
aha a dv deviation at last! very good :clap: bravo

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brraaiins
~darkvenom:icondarkvenom: Apr 9, 2007, 1:21:06 AM
haha yea, its been a while
*Raphaella:iconRaphaella: Apr 9, 2007, 7:27:29 AM
Hey nice to see from you again - with another unique poem. I particularly like the alliteration of 'knaws with knarled and knotted teeth'.
~darkvenom:icondarkvenom: Apr 10, 2007, 3:45:57 AM
I like alliteration in small doses :D I was going to try and form the whole poem around it, but didnt for two reasons. I dont like too much alliteration and it was too hard =P Nice to see your still watching me :) You always have been one to comment, sadly I've been missing more than a few of your pieces :(
*Raphaella:iconRaphaella: Apr 10, 2007, 3:53:35 AM
No worries, don't sweat it.
~silverfeathers:iconsilverfeathers: Apr 10, 2007, 2:08:42 PM
"Cheated from death by a drop of life"
"The marrow staining my tongue... "
I really liked those two lines. I liked the whole poem in general, but those two were original to me and flowed well. I started taking an actual poetry class recently and I never realized just how WELL your poems are written. Whether you're aware of it or not, you make excellent use of poetic device, the senses, internal rhyme, etc.
bravo.
on a different thread, how have you been?

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"don't let the self-beauty be lost, the pureness of heart, joy and harmony."
~thexhystericxeskimo:iconthexhystericxeskimo: Apr 11, 2007, 12:10:45 AM
lalalalafucking fave.

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I hope you choke on a cardboard cut-out of Julia Roberts. x
~darkvenom:icondarkvenom: Apr 11, 2007, 12:38:20 AM
Im glad you liked the poem :) I have been well, but very busy in most aspects of life and have been for quite some time now, but things are good, what about yourself?

And a poetry class hmm? I think only a few of my most recent poems are well written (for me, in the sense that I actually am rather proud of them). Feel free to disect a piece or two if your bored one day to show me how you come to the conclusion that my poems are "well written" lol
~darkvenom:icondarkvenom: Apr 11, 2007, 12:44:15 AM
I apreciate the fav dude, though anything constructive so say? lol, I respect you as a poet so much I was kinda dissapointed that you didnt leave a more descriptive comment and perhaps a reason as to why I deserve a fav :)